put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
