Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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