And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
