My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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