She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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