a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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