The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
