I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just saw a hot homeless man
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
