Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
