Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
