To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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