What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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