k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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