READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My dad is sitting where you rode me
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
