I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
