Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
