Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
