How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
