Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
