I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
