Christians are straight up FREAKS
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
