just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
