mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
