My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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