I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
