Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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