WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
