This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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