At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
