she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
