He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's shark week go big or go home
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
