so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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