fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
worst night to have a conscience
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
