I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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