I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
