Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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