Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I love you. Go after that dick
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
