I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
