I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
