I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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