my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I see more hoeing in ur future
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