He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
