I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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