i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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