i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
