I wish i was in the wii world.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
