I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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