It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
