Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My vagina is officially offended.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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