you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
BRING THE BAGELS
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
