It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
